As a few of you may know I am going to be acting as a doula for a few of our Rochester friends in the next upcoming weeks. Kate and Keith are expecting Baby Charlie in approximately 2 weeks. Over the past 6 weeks we have been attending Monday Prenatal classes. I thought I would try to provide you with a good laugh from a few of our classes. (If they are not funny I apologize you must have had to have been there). Let me introduce to you the couple’s first.
All natural couple- this couple is in their mid 20’s, super skinny, and very quiet. You can tell they do yoga, drink green tea, and are scared out of their minds.
Small town teacher couple- this couple is very type A. The wife is a grade school teacher and tended to bring her “teaching” to class with her. (She will do all the writing on the boards—she just loves loves loves all the pretty markers)
L and Husband- L was a much larger lady than her husband who was about my size if not shorter (5’3 ish). The first time Kate saw them walking into class… All she could say was “that couldn’t have happened” (You get the picture) You know when you look at prom or wedding photos and the couple never has their arms in the right position for the escort. That’s L and husband. She always appeared to be in the manly position.
Richard and girlfriend- Richard made it very clear the first class that him and his pregnant girlfriend were not married. His biggest concern was how they were going to “go out” at night with a baby…. Needless to say they only attended one class.
Hat guy and wife- This couple was a little bit older maybe early 30’s. The know it all husband always wore a dungy white hat. She definitely wore the pants in the relationship.
Kate and Keith- They are a freshly married, energetic, enthusiastic couple (I may be a little biased) . Great parents in training!!!
So any who on to a few of the highlight moments (just a little FYI- Kate has a mouth on her—she has a funny comment on EVERYTHING) so when you are reading this just imagine the most sarcastic person you know whispering in your ear the entire time.
Class 1- At this class the women and men split up and wrote down some of their discomforts and questions about birthing and having a baby. The women were talking about breastfeeding and when L intervened and stated that her friend started breastfeeding and was feeding her baby pure blood due to her cracked nipples….. UM WHAT… NO that doesn’t happen. I honestly think she has a room full of Lanolin cream at home. (A week later Kate stood up at her baby shower and yelled this to the entire crowd—nothing is too personal to share apparently)
Class 2- This class we learned about massage and breathing techniques. The women were on large exercise balls with her husbands behind them. The men were instructed to softly stroke their wives temples in a circular motion. Hat guy was going at hyper speed. He was pushing so hard the wife couldn’t turn her head to shoot him the look. (Oh it gets better)! Next the women were to bend over the ball while on their knees. The men were to press their hips together and forward a bit. Hat guy was the first to demonstrate. Being Mr. know-it-all himself he gave her one big push and she went flying!!! Face planted right off the ball…… I had to laugh, I had no other choice. I’m pretty sure after his efforts at these classes she will be getting an epidural.
Class 3- This was the day of the NCAA basketball final. Michigan was in the game. Organic couple husband showed up fashionably late. After stripping his jacket we noticed a Michigan shirt, Michigan sweatpants, Michigan hat, and even freaking Michigan socks. He either thought he was going to a tailgate or he really didn’t want to be there. (I’m going to go with option number 2).
Throughout most of the classes Kate, and Type A Personality teacher would ask questions but I think the real attention getter was L and her husband. These two had to ALWAYS be touching each other. I mean always. Rubbing hands, stroking faces, hands on each other’s legs, kissing, and back massage, etc…. We know you’re affectionate— hence the reason you’re pregnant. Knock that S***off your in public.
There were many more stories from this experience. But I really do think you had to be there for them to be funny. Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not playing doula for some of the other couples in the class. I am so eager to help Kate and Keith during this adventure. I wish them the best of luck. They are going to do great!
Yesterday I decided I wanted to donate my hair to locks of love. 12 freaking inches!!!!! (I may regret this soon but as for now I just remind myself of the cause). So this morning my mom called me to see how I liked the cut. She concluded our conversation with “you can stop saving the world for a day now.” (I think she is afraid of what I will think of next). So today I just practiced some deep thinking instead.
Over the past few weeks/months I have been trying very hard to make me a better me. I have been trying to stay more positive, volunteer more, learn more, and look at life through a different perspective. My patients are a big factor in this change. I learn something relevant at every visit.
Today my newly found attitude was a little off. I don’t know if it is from the recent tragedy in Boston or from the gloomy weather. But today as I was driving around I observed several scenes that made me go hmmm…. All these observations make me wonder if my whole “me making me a better me” phase will have impact on much at all. (I did not make a blog to complain I promise). Here is my list from today.
1. We (Americans) pay our workers to smoke. I see employees smoking outside of the hospital (BIGGEST PET PEVE), driving around in company vehicles, and outside office buildings…. Why do we pay our employees to practice acts that have absolutely NOTHING to do with their job descriptions? No one pays me to run why should we pay you to smoke.
2. Today I was almost t-boned in a parking lot, the woman was too lazy to drive two more parking stalls deep to go around the median that she tried to cut through my parking stall/car. Are we really in that big of a hurry? Are we really that lazy?
3. The senate had the nerve to reject stricter guidelines on background checks for gun purchases….. (you don’t want me to go on my soapbox about this one) but really…………
4. I have a patient who is dying of a disease that has no cure at this point in time. But yet her husband has the nerve to cheat on her. Looking from an outside view you may think “oh that’s nice of the woman to want her husband to move on” noooo not the case! The husband is literally waiting for the patient to die so he can be with his new woman (makes me want to hurl)
I will save you from the rest of the list…… Unfortunately it is a long one.
So what did I learn from all of this? I can’t change any of it!
I have a patient, just the cutest little old lady, who loves to complain. And one day she stopped complaining and said to me, “if there is one thing I’ve learned through this illness, it is that you will find that it is necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy.” She is exactly right so tomorrow I refuse to stumble over things that are behind me. Tomorrow I hope to wake up with a new attitude and pass by those smokers, cheaters, gun right activists, and lazy drivers and not pass judgment. This world is a scary place so live your life, don’t just survive in it!
One of my favorite memories is the 4th of July celebration in Armstrong. Not living in Armstrong anymore I’m not sure exactly how much I can contribute to the planning process. So today I had a visit with my grandma. We pulled out the historical books and wrote a 150 word essay to enter into a contest. The contest is to help with the funding of the fireworks. I know this celebration is near and dear to many of my friends and family. I believe there may be a voting competition with this contest. If you happen to see my post come up on Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest. Please Please Please vote for Armstrong. The deadline is today to enter the contest. If you would like to make an entry also, the more the merrier.
Armstrong Iowa is a small heart-warming town with a rich history on Independence Day. Armstrong’s celebration has been an ongoing tradition since 1870. Our streets are lined with folding chairs, our parks are full of local venders, and our children are full of joy. Old cars, loud fire trucks, and hometown heroes return to wave their way through the crowded streets. People indulge in watermelon, sour lemonade, and hot dogs. Horse and buggies started our celebrations on dirt roads. Through the years we have mastered the art or soap box racing, float building, firework digging, and many more attractions. This celebration does not happen without an army of volunteers spanning over generations. Your recognition and contribution could help us to continue to build our celebration. Our historical books tell us a young girl once said to her mother “the only thing better than the Fourth of July is Chirstmas.”
Summer is right around the corner. Hip Hip Hurray
The real reason-
I have been working as a nurse for about 2 years now. As a nurse you often get the question “why did you become a nurse?” I would say over 80% of nurses will say something along the lines of “I wanted to help people.” I have come to the conclusion that I don’t believe this statement. Every Monday we have a meeting full of nurses. The nurses are often looking for some help in staffing their visits. It is not common that nurses are jumping out of their chairs to help. As nurses do we really want to help people? If so why don’t we help our coworkers? At what point does our selfishness take over? At what or who do we draw the line to help?
I have always felt that I need to do something more. I have always had this gut feeling I am not giving enough. I regularly donate blood or run races that donate to a good cause but that’s not enough. My mom jokes that I would give all my body parts away if they could all regenerate themselves. I am in the car a significant amount of time for my job so I have a lot (too much) thinking time. (I should warn you I have a lot, I mean a lot of random ideas)
I have recently come across the St. Baldrick’s Foundation. The St. Baldrick’s foundation is a childhood cancer charity that funds the most promising research to help find cures for kids with cancer. The St. Baldrick’s foundation does a head shaving fundraiser. I honestly considered this. I take care of an infant with stage 4 cancer and I have become really engrossed in her case.
You have to understand how much I love my hair. No I don’t cry at haircuts, but it did take me a solid 4 years to grow my hair out to its current length. So all week long I’ve been trying to find people around the office to join me in the event. May 18th is the day…. I’m going to guess there is a good chance I will bail (selfishness again) . If it was my own grandmother/mother/friend etc. I know I’d be the first one in line for the shave. (selfish, selfish, selfish)
On to my next crazy idea- There is a family from my hometown whose little boy is in need of a Kidney. I saw a posting on Facebook a few days ago that his father is no longer a match and they are looking for potential donors. I would love to do this. I wonder if giving my kidney would finally make me feel more “giving”. It is my plan to message the mother and get the details about the process. I would really love to help. ……. But yet again I am acting selfish. I think that if I could transplant in the month of May or June I would be able to start school at full strength in August. If I went through the process and found I was a match there is no way I would back out. But those silly little thoughts in our head always alter our original ideas.
So I ask you my friends, at what point is it accepting for your conscience to override your selfishness.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Coffee, Cartwheels, and Chardonnay
Hello it’s me, Morgan. One day oddly enough I decided I wanted to become a “blogger” (one of my crazy ideas) so here it be. I anticipate that I will talk about my love/hate relationship with running, current issues, the weather, along with other things, but mainly I want to write down what I learn about life on a daily/weekly/monthly basis.
I assume most of you know my story but I will give you a quick update. I took the fast track to adulthood. NO I did not wind up pregnant nor was I forced into an arranged marriage, I just sprinted through my first few years of college While my friends are off taste testing cheap beer and figuring out what to do in life, I’m administering medications that are worth more than my car. Which wound me up in Rochester, MN. (some may refer to it as Med City Minnesota). I came up here for the same reasons that every other nurse does…. To find a doctor to drool over. DUH! Unfortunately that has not happened yet, but one thing I did fall in love with was my job. I work as a home healthcare case manager. I absolutely love the fun laid back atmosphere my workplace runs on (you will get to meet my coworkers throughout the blog). I would love nothing more than to write a whole blog just about my patients but apparently HIPPA puts the hammer down on that. (fun haters) So I will tell my lessons without spilling too many details.
Otherwise who am I? I am a summer loving, friends watching, people pleasing, photo taking, book reading, running wild energizer bunny. So where do I go from here? I have accepted admission into the Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Program at the University of Iowa. I will start in Fall 2013. I am super excited. Not exactly about being a Hawkeye again but about my future. I even looked up my books already for next year (nerd alert I know). One of the books is called the Rulebook for Arguments (watch out Dayna).
So here it goes my first post:
Coffee, Cartwheels, and Chardonnay. — what is with the name?
Coffee- Coffee is downright disgusting if you ask me. Coffee is not creamy, smooth, or sweet to me. Coffee tastes burnt. (cappuccino is a whole different story). But the concept behind coffee is what stands out to me. Coffee is supposed to give you a pissload (excuse my language) of energy. And that is me!!! I personally think a lot of people inhale coffee because of the comfort, the aroma, and the stories around the coffee cup.
Cartwheels- I was in gymnastics growing up. I was a chunk I was no good. I quit the day I told my parents that only real sports were played with balls. (I since regret that statement). Good old Wikipedia says a cartwheel is a sideways rotary movement performed by bringing the hands to the ground while the body inverts and the legs travel over the body, coming to a standing position. A cartwheel is my life. Sometimes I am unaware if my hands are up in the air or not. Sometimes I am juggling so much that I often feel like my arms will give out and I will face plant (which I often do). Cartwheels need practice. Shawn Johnson did not just become an Olympic medalist without putting in a few million cartwheels first. Which is just like life in my eyes. I’m not going to become a good runner unless I run. I’m not going to become a phenomenal nurse unless I practice. And so on and so forth. So maybe it will take a few face plants in the meantime but I hope they will provide you with a few laughs.
Chardonnay- is a green skinned grade variety used to make white wine. Everyone needs a little white wine at the end of the day. I’d like to refer back to the story about the professor and the jar of golf balls (see below)
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.
Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
So make time for you and your friends. Have a little fun. Set your desires high and your goals even higher. Remember “There are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” C.J Lewis.
Until next time my friends.